Well that wasn't fun

Unfortunately, my treatment today turned into a nightmare. They needed to take some x-rays (films) before they actually started the treatment and the taking-of-the-films process ended up lasting a VERY long time. In the end, they decided not to even do the treatment today because they still needed to double check and adjust a couple things. The issue is with the lung blocks they made and getting them lined up and shaped perfectly. Basically, they cut out special shapes in lead that are bolted to a piece of acrylic that is then bolted to the radiation machine. The lead blocks prevent any radiation from hitting the parts of lung where there was no disease. They need to get them perfectly lined up and cut to just the right shape so that the parts of my chest that need radiation aren't blocked, but the parts that had no disease don't get any radiation. I'm really happy that they're paying such attention to detail and making sure everything is lined up just right, but the process was absolutely awful.
I asked how long the treatment was going to take when they were first getting me positioned. I knew it would be easier to get through if I could tell myself that I only had to last 5 more minutes or 10 more minutes. The techs said a treatment takes about 5 minutes, but that they needed to take some films first. I was ok through the first set of films and then I got a bit of a break from the mask. They decided to do another set of films and I was still ok. By the time they did the third set of films, I was getting pretty uncomfortable and feeling pretty anxious. Finally they told me they just needed one more set of films, then 5 min of treatment, so a total of about 10 more minutes and I'd be done. I also realized around then that the 65min long track I'd turned on on my iPod was almost over. Knowing how long I'd been stuck there just made it feel so much worse. When the came in to adjust things the next time, I was about to freak out and asked if they could take the mask off for just a little bit. My face muscles were just uncontrollably twitching/shivering by then. One of the techs asked if I could make it through the next set of films and I said I thought I could, but then started crying because I was just so uncomfortable and freaked out. My music had long since ended by then, but they started it up again. I had a minor meltdown when they undid the mask and was just laying there sobbing. The tech stayed with me and reassured me that it really doesn't usually take that long. She asked if I wanted to sit up or anything, but I knew that it was going to hurt to get up because my muscles were so stiff and if I got up, I wouldn't want to get back down, so I opted to just stay put. They left the mask off for a little bit, then came back in to put it on for one last set of films. Once that was all done, they undid the mask and had me get slowly get up. They didn't actually do the treatment in the end. I got dressed, talked with the nurse for a minute, then left. I called Josh as soon as I got outside and ended up having a second little meltdown while I was talking to him. I got myself calmed down enough to drive and was promised some special treat like an ice cream sundae to make me feel better and so I headed home.
My biggest issue was just that they kept telling me it'd be just one more set of films, then 5 min of rads and then I'd be done, but they kept having to do additional films. By the time I was totally done, I'd been in the mask for an hour and a half. The mask keeps my jaw clenched really tightly and my head and neck get really painful. One side of my sacrum was feeling pretty awful too.
I told Josh that today's experience didn't make me feel any better about the radiation and now I actually have some pretty negative associations with the mask whereas I was completely fine with it. I just really hope that tomorrow it really is only 5 min on the table because I don't know that I could handle much longer than that.