Random ramblings

I think I'm officially completely over my cold/flu/whatever it was. I had a lingering choking cough for awhile, but it's pretty much gone. Josh is "not sick" right now (he has a minor cold that he's adamantly denying). He's just got a bit of a sore throat and a stuffed up head, but he's hanging in there just fine (he's also got the benefit of being able to partake in cold meds, so that's helping). I had a horrific migraine earlier in the week, but that's thankfully gone now.
Last night I was awake until about 2am because I just wasn't tired. I think it was a remnant of the migraine. I didn't have to work today, so it wasn't that big of a deal. I'm probably going to shut off the computer shortly and head to bed tonight to see if I can catch up on some sleep.
My work schedule is getting pretty frustrating. Basically, the Dr. doesn't want 4 people there, so I can only work when someone else isn't working. M stays home with her kiddos every Friday, so I work every Friday that we're open, which is supposed to be every other Friday, though it's slightly more than that. I trade off Mondays with another coworker. The other days of the week, I come in for the afternoons, but there's getting to be some bitterness, I think, because the woman who leaves when I come in doesn't seem to want to leave. I realized the other day that if I come in when she wants me to, I'm basically driving over an hour and a half to be at work for 3.5hrs. If gas prices go much higher, it's hardly going to be worth it for me! They were especially schizophrenic about the plan for today...first I was told to come in at 1:30, then told not to come in at all. When I finally retrieved my phone after I woke up this morning, I had 3 frantic messages and a text asking me to come in to cover for someone who was sick. I called to let then know I'd only just gotten the message and would hop in the shower and head out the door...and was told, nevermind, we don't really need you after all!
All that having been said, I'm spending a lot of my free time applying for jobs. I'm really torn about applying for bio research jobs (like what I was doing before), but it's pretty much one of my only options for making decent money right now, so that's what I'm looking for. I'm giving Johns Hopkins a try, hoping I can find something at the med school there. I don't have a lot of faith in my brain being able to handle a research job, but I'll just have to do the best I can. My brain fog has lessened, but I still have an awful time with concentrating on things and remembering stuff. I'm terrified I'll just end up wreaking havoc on any lab I work in for the time being. I guess if I get a lab job, I'll just have to try to figure out a way to peacefully work with my brain to get things done. In any case, I'm just hoping something comes along soon. I've gotten a couple calls from them already, so it seems promising. My current job is barely keeping things afloat, but I have a lead about some help with my biggest expense...my health insurance. The Leukemia/Lymphoma Society has a program called the Co-Pay Assistance program that I originally thought only helped with co-pays, but apparently, they'll cover health insurance premiums too! Since I don't have much choice in whether or not to have insurance and I don't (currently) have any options besides the $500/month COBRA plan from my old job, I was basically just looking at putting the premiums on my credit card and dealing with it later (when I hopefully have a better job. It's nice to have another option that doesn't mean tons of debt! I can't wait til the day when I have the money to give back to the LLS for being such an awesome organization (and thanks to everyone who does give them money!!)
I met a woman at work yesterday who is a wildlife vet for a local wildlife rehab center. I've been meaning to go to one of the volunteer orientations, but my cold threw me off a little bit. I really enjoyed talking to the vet though, so I called today to sign up for an orientation session this weekend. She said she'd love to have someone like me volunteer there (she was super excited to hear that Josh is a trained herpetologist and she'd love him to volunteer too, but once his turtle season starts up again, he'll be too busy). She knows a ton of people I know (our old vet from Mass., my coworkers from Patuxent, Josh's boss at the Humane Society) and I was really glad to have the chance to chat with her about her vet career. It was encouraging to talk to someone who doesn't think I'm nuts to wait and go to vet school later in live.
I sent in my application for the vet tech program on Monday. I should hear back about that towards the end of April. I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do about it given the uncertainty about where I'll be working by fall, but I wanted to have the application turned in so I don't miss the chance. My current thoughts are to try to work it out so I can do that program and have a vet tech license to fall back on until I do make it to vet school. Trying to work things out to go to vet school in the near future would mean putting off having kids for way longer than I'm comfortable waiting. I'm pretty much counting down the days until I'm far enough out from chemo to be comfortable having kids (sometime next year) and I don't want to wait much longer than that for both health reasons (like, having kids sooner rather than later will supposedly lower my breast cancer risk and I don't want to risk fertility issues or other supposed "advanced-maternal age" risks that they start throwing at you when you hit 35) and also because I've wanted to have kids for forever and waiting and waiting is getting to be no fun.
I've gotten a lot of feedback that having kids first means I'll probably never make it to vet school because kids "ruin" your life or make it so you can't do anything for yourself anymore. I have some pretty strong opinions about that attitude that aren't worth venting here. I know that kids change your life in a huge way but I don't think they will necessarily prevent me from attending vet school should I so choose. And quite frankly, at this point in my life, if I never make it to vet school but have a happy family, I'll be content. I'm willing to take the risk that vet school will never happen because the kids and family stuff is more of a priority for me.
That's pretty much all the news from our house. I'm falling asleep, so I think it's time to sign off and head to bed. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have no problem sleeping tonight!!